The Binary Circumstance

I am so glad that the White House read my recent post about Condoleezza Rice and decided that she should testify in public and under oath before the 9/11 Commission.

The White House wrote a letter to the commission and the commission wrote back and presto-chango it was all decided.

All that very important posturing about principles and precedents wasn’t playing too well with the public so I guess they finally realized if something didn’t change we were all going to turn off the TVs and find something more constructive to do with out lives.

And things haven’t just changed at the White House and the 9/11 Commission; they have changed here, too.

In keeping with the new atmosphere of cooperation, the White House sent me nice note, handwritten no less, thanking me for my assistance in clarifying the issues. It had some words that were crossed out, but the President is very busy, so I wasn’t offended that they sent the draft copy. I’d like to share it with you.

From THE WHITE HOUSE:

Dear Mr. Gibbons:

When you recently suggested on your blog that Dr. Condoleezza Rice might be viewed as a “megadeath intellectual” it made us think.

We have spent so much time of late praying that our executive privileges would be preserved and protected from the long arm of Satan any questioning by the Congress, committees, voters, taxpayers, the families of 9/11 victims, or anybody who wrongly believes thinks they have a right to know what their government is up to.

Our devotion to this course left little time for us to read the crap that idiots like you publish on the Internet check the pulse of blog opinions. Had we seen your post earlier, John Ashcroft would have used the Patriot Act to shut your site down and throw your stupid faggot ass in jail along with Richard Clarke we would have seen the error of our ways and sent Dr. Rice before the committee to testify under oath ASAP.

We wanted to take this opportunity to inform you that when the Rapture comes we have it on good authority that you will be left behind to experience the Hell we are working so hard to create thank you for your great contribution to our country.

Sincerely,

THE WHITE HOUSE

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2004 at 10:00 am and is filed under Government/Politics, Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a reply. Pinging is currently not allowed.